


To Keep You Safe

by WatanabeMaya



Category: HetaOni, Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Drama, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Magic, Romance, Time Loop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-01
Updated: 2013-11-01
Packaged: 2017-12-31 03:51:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1026917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WatanabeMaya/pseuds/WatanabeMaya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Forgive me, my love. I had never meant for things to turn out this way." A stretch of emotions through alternating perspectives, all but voiced in a fleeting, painful moment. This is a tale of sacrifice and love, in the purest of its forms, which transcends even the endless loops of time. / HetaOni verse; centered on part 16. Warning!May contain Spoilers. Vignette. US/UK.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Keep You Safe

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia.

_I remember it vividly, the sight of your face as I glanced back at you for one last time – before the light flooded my eyes and the shadows consumed my soul. It is etched into my memory, the same scene playing over and over again in the dark recesses of my battered mind. My words are looped into an endless promise, never being granted the chance of being fulfilled._

_But it's because you're so very important to me –that if only to keep you safe, I know certain sacrifices must be made._

" **Sorry, but if I don't kill you and go back alive, I won't set the hero a good example."**

I remember it clearly, the feeling of your body pressed tightly against Canada's and mine, as I cradled your cold,  _cold_ corpse in my arms. Helplessness and guilt taunting my mind as I could do nothing but stand idly by the sidelines and watch the tragedy of my fears unravel before my eyes – over and over and over again.

No matter how many times I would call out your name and beg for you both to come back and return to me, my words would never reach you. Through the mocking silence and absence of your words, I realized – with a bitter, scornful, quiet laugh – that I might as well be honest because neither of you could hear me anymore. And so I insisted, despite Italy's words of protest, on staying by your side – because, after all, you were both very important to me.

Fate looks down on me with pity, as the clocks turn back on themselves once more; and I know that this time, I cannot afford to lose you again.

=x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x=

" **...? Oh! My Texas! It was right next to you! Why didn't you pick it up for me?"**

_Time stands still and the perpetual darkness refuses to cease. If I could only scream and call out your name, begging for you to save me and make it stop, then I would. But the light of your presence continues to evade me and I am forced to face this dark, desolate, new world all alone. It's terrifying._

" **What? Oh...yeah...is that so?"**

You think I don't notice, but I do. The way you flinch at the sound of my voice, the way your posture wavers with unease, and the way you hesitate before slowly turning your head to avoid my gaze – I see it, Arthur. I see all of it. Every manner and action you take only confirms my fears more and more. It's frightening.

" **England? D-don't tell me you...!"**

_You think I don't notice, but I do. The way your voice shakes as you call out my name; the way – like me – you are fighting back and struggling to keep a strong front. But we both know it's futile. The sadness and desperation heavily coating your every word gives everything away, you bloody foolish git. I can see it, Alfred. I can see all of it. The look on your face as you call out my name is painted at the back of my mind – forever plaguing my conscience._ _I think back at my final memory of your expression, a mix of anguish and guilt – a look that I had never meant to give you – and I know that I cannot allow myself to falter before your very eyes. I had sacrificed myself and exceeded my powers, knowingly aware of the consequences, for your sake. I cannot afford to have any regrets now. I had given away my sight for you._

_If only for your sake shall I dwell in pretence, and keep my strong facade up once more._

" **Wh-what? Wait a moment, we have to go after Italy first-"**

You say that but you haven't even moved a single step.

What's wrong, Arthur? Look at me. Please. I want you to look at me. With those green eyes that had once reminded me of a spring that had long since passed, possessing such vitality and promise, so much alike to the blooming, grassy fields we had frequented in the past – enthralling me ever since I was a child. But your eyes – your precious emerald eyes – no longer reflect the same radiance as before. The life they had once held has now withered away, as though they had fallen victim to death in the grasps of the unforgiving autumn; and the vibrancy of those gems which I had once held so dear has been corroded – faded and reduced to a mere dull and lacklustre state.

It is hollow and lifeless; a cold, empty void irreconcilable with the calming warmth of your personality. It's so unlike you, it scares me.

" **E-England..."**

_Are you...are you crying, my love? Please stop. Don't cry now. It pains me to think that you are. Your eyes –your brilliant blue eyes – are far more suited to shine like the sky, beaming with such energy and enthusiasm as you had always before. Not like the ocean, where the water steals them of their vibrancy and light, pulling you deeper as you drown in their depths of grief and misery. But it seems as though the tides have taken over and your eyes have lost their shine; the strained quality of your coarse voice as you choke back the tears only confirms me of my suspicions._

_So please don't cry. It doesn't suit you at all._

" **Wh-wh-what?"**

I remember that a long, long time ago...many loops ago, I asked you the following question.

And each and every time, your eyes always answer me with the same empty gaze. And you whisper words to me, so softly that it's hard for me to hear, before you cup my cheeks in your hands and will your life away. But this time, it's different. You're still alive now; breathing and standing right before my very eyes. I was a hero, wasn't I? I protected you, didn't I? I could be a hero... couldn't I? Right?

Things are supposed to be better now, right?

**"England, how many fingers...am I holding up?"**

_Please don't say it like that. You already know, don't you? Don't ask me anymore, I beg of you._

_I don't want to hurt you again._

**"You can answer me, can't you? If - If you...can see."**

Then why,  _why_  do your eyes still mirror that same hollow stare? Why won't you still look at me? Was I wrong? Have I not changed anything, after all? Even amidst the countless infinity of time loops and sacrifices that I had made, have I failed to protect you once more? God forbid, I'm supposed to be the one who's hurt right now instead. Not you. Never you.

So tell me I'm wrong. Tell me that I'm just worrying too much and that 'we have no more time for such nonsense.' Tell me anything. Insult me. Call me stupid. Call me the 'blithering, foolish, idiotic git' as you had always done so before. Anything, really. Just answer me. Please.

But please...please, don't say you're sorry. I don't want to go through that again.

" **W-well..."**

_Forgive me, my love. I had never meant for things to turn out this way._

" **...It can't...be..."**

I'm sorry, my love. I am so so sorry. I had never meant for things to turn out like this. If only to keep you safe, I would've been more than willing to sacrifice myself instead to take away your pain.

Because I'm the hero, am I not? It's my job to protect you.

" **I-I'm sorry, America. I...I can no longer see."**

_But I am a gentleman, remember? And a gentleman is always one step ahead of the hero._


End file.
